Trust

How do we know we can trust someone? We don't. We just do. Usually it comes along with the people we love or care about, or people that we have known a very very long time. But should we actually trust a person? If yes, then how much? Lets talk about ourselves first. Can we actually trust ourselves? Well for me, no. I can' t really trust myself. I can fail me, sometimes. I have pretty high standards for myself. If you can't trust yourself, don't trust others. Same way with love. If you cant love yourself, don't love others. First learn how to love yourself, only then you can project it outwards. What is it you trust someone with? A task maybe? or secrets? When someone fails us, we get upset and make a promise to ourselves never to trust that person again. What happens when the person asks for forgiveness? Forgiving complicates things. If you say you forgive that person, does it mean you can entrust that person with heavy loads again? or does it just mean you are not angry anymore, but no telling secrets or sharing of exclusive information? It boils down to two basic things that we trust someone with, a task or personal information. So how do we avoid problems or escape this trust issue. Lets start with the simpler element. Tasks. Its simple. Just do it yourself. Be independent. Dependency brings about expectation and expectation brings about disappointments. Of course, in life, you cant do everything yourself. There are certain things that you need help with. We need an example here. Okay, lets say you and this friend of yours. Totally useless people on earth and such a waste of space. But one day both of you decide to do something worthwhile in life. So you guys come up with this plan of robbing a bank, and yes, as you expect, he double crosses you and runs away with the money. You get caught. First moral of the story? Always plan a triple cross. Don't bring yourself to those dramatic moments, where your hand are cuffed, and from a distance you can see your friend with the money bag, and you shout out, 'I trusted you! I thought we were friends!' Enough with the dramas. Shut up, seriously. Why triple cross? Its because if your 'friend' planned a bank robbery with you, he isn't your friend. A good friend is suppose to knock you back to reality to get a real job and lead a good life. So if he isn't your friend, manipulate him as much as you want. Second moral of the story, if you want to rob a bank, don't use a friend, hire people so that you can dispose them later. Now that you have disposed them and you have the money, you can live happily ever after with your friend. No trust issue complication. Next, is trusting a person with personal information. How does these things come about anyway? The fundamental problem, the way I see it is exclusiveness. Everybody likes to think that they are special. If everybody knows everything about them, then they are just common. When only certain people have a certain advantage over them, they feel special. Another factor is vulnerability. They think exposing too much information about themselves puts them in danger. Seriously? No. Who do you think you are? The prime minister or something? Nobody wants to kill you, nobody cares if you even exist. Of course there is the problem where if you let out your weakness, people will manipulate you either now, or later in your working life. How do you settle that then? Be proud of your weaknesses. It totally disarms the attacker. You are only easily manipulated if manipulation gets to you. So lets say for some reason you have already reached the dramatic moment when someone has failed your trust on a duty or task. What do we do? I'd say forgive that person. Whether to trust again? Nope.

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." -Thomas Stephen Szasz

If you want to be special, you already are in God's eyes. For fellow humans, let someone see you for how special you are, don't try to be special. Don't make all your information so exclusive, that when you entrust it to one person, the chance of that person selling you out is extremely high, and you don't have to make the other person feel so special saying 'only you know so much about me'. If you do that, Go kill yourself after.