Just finished a two week torturing, communication skills short course today. Well, it wasn't that bad because I did learn something from this course. The most interesting lecture was on difficult people. There is the whiner, the bulldozer, the expert, the balloon, the sniper, and the indecisive. However I think that most people can be categorized in more than one of these categories. As in, not all people are only made up of one of those characters. We had a few assignments to do, most of it were speeches, which were really annoying especially impromptu speeches. Yesterday there was a paired speech. So my partner and I spoke about misleading superheroes, referring to Marvel and DC Comics superheroes. Some of the points that we discussed were, vigilantism, perfectionism, revenge, hiding behind a mask, violence, and false hope. We were agreeing with the statement for our speech. But of course, we all know all that was a load of crap. We all love you, dear superheroes out there. Batman especially, keeping my city safe. Trust me, I'm not delusional. Most of the topics given required us to give our opinions and views on things. Most of what people talk about, write about or blog about are opinions on issues. Well some of them just blog their daily life. I'm talking about those blogs that debate or argue about controversial issues or topics that are very juicy for discussion. I am intending to do that as well. However, I sometimes think some people are opinionated. I do not want to find myself doing the same thing I dislike. So lets get this clear with, or basically, I'm clearing my own conscience. What is an opinion? An opinion is defined as 'A view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge'. The judgement may as well be based on facts. Being opinionated however, is characterized by 'conceited assertiveness and dogmatism'. I got these definitions from Oxford Dictionary. The definition of opinionated in a simpler fashion by Dr. Mark Goulston M.D., 'a person who speaks as if their opinions are facts rather than mere beliefs'. Basically, everyone can have an opinion as long as they don't try to dogmatize it or shove a certain concept down another person's throat. Today in my communication skills class, we also learn about transparency in an organization. Information is power, but when the time is right for you to speak up, you have to. So its okay to have an opinion. Along with it, wisdom is important as to know when to verbalize it, and the method of delivery. Some people would say, that to whom you say it matters as well. As for me, it does really matter as long as you have the two former factors right. For example, if the prime minister is in front of your face today, and asks your opinion on how to save the country (i am not implying our country needs any saving action), you should say something if you have something brilliant to say. If you take into account that he is the prime minister and missed your opportunity, then no one will remember you in history. Sorry, I love to give extravagant examples, as long as you get the point. Also, opinionated people often turn every bit of a conversation into an argument or a debate. Watch out for these people, sometimes you might just feel like you need to be alone, and you definitely don't want to meet this person in the restaurant you are about to eat lunch in. Among the two factors which I deemed as important in giving an opinion just now; when to verbalize it and the method of delivery. I think that the method of delivery is the most important. We can't really know when is the best time for all situations, but we can definitely do something about our method of delivery. Some people have a default rude tone when they speak, and this is a total turn off. No matter how good their opinion can be, no one would give a penny for it. Sometimes when we give an opinion it could sound like we are trying to overpower the person in charge if you are speaking from a position of lower ranking wherever it may be. It could also sound like you are correcting them if they are people of experience. Being opinionated is extremely dangerous when he or she goes for job interviews, and this will definitely print a negative impression on them.
~Every man has a right to his opinion,
but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts.
-Bernard M. Baruch
So what to do? Provide your opinions when people ask for it, or when it is extremely necessary. Don't be a bore to people talking and arguing unnecessary and unimportant issues of life. Leave it to the person whether or not they want to agree with you on what you have offered. No one is obliged to agree on a certain thing. Have opinions, but don't get trapped as being opinionated. When a situation is going on, don't be the observant sideline, take a stand. Observant side liners can't really be relied on as well. What you perceive shapes your opinions, and your opinions shape your personality and who you are. If you have no opinion, you have no solid personality as well. Sometimes people talk to much as to assert their position or status. This is a fundamental problem of insecurity or low self esteem. If you realize you are one of these people, and if you are not happy with it, then do something about it.
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