The Apology

Giving or receiving. Saying sorry or accepting an apology. Knowing or not knowing your date of death. Which is harder? The third example is irrelevant to the topic today. I just included it to spice it up a lil. Elton John thinks, sorry seems to be the hardest word. Some others think its the easiest word to say. What determines whether its an easy word, or a difficult one? Is it harder to say sorry, or to accept one?

Firstly, is there such a thing as forgiving? If yes, how would you know whether you have forgiven someone? I think there surely isn't a way of forgetting an emotionally traumatizing incident, contrary to the popular pointless statement of 'forgive & forget'. I would say, you have forgiven someone, once you 'unbind' the person. Meaning, if you can allow the person who wronged you to go off happy, you have forgiven him. Its really irrelevant how You are feeling. You can be still angry about it, thinking about what happened over and over again until you eat yourself up, but as long as you don't attempt to hold that person accountable for an incident and revenge him/her by slowly consuming that person's mental status; you have forgiven that person. 

"Forgiving, is allowing the wrongdoer to be happy, Not You"

 

Some people say that when you forgive another, you can find peace. Really? I think, Not. If you don't forgive, you harbor anger. If you do, you harbor frustration, and that's because, you are unable to revenge. Revenge is cheap, but we are hardwired to do so. Achieving a peaceful-non-revenging human race is going to take longer than the time it took to domesticate wolves into becoming house dogs. I'm not going to bring love as a variable. Let's just stop at, "someone did something bad to you" case.  Love is just going to mess up the equation.

 

When does saying sorry become difficult? Pride. When you have a jar full of pride. Pride prevents you from a lot of things, including learning, because you think you are too cool to ask for directions or help. You will be unable to say sorry because you think it demeans you. But this will kill you. Unlike forgiving, saying sorry provides peace, because its given to you from the forgiver. So yes, its not Forgiving that gives you peace, its saying sorry. Saying sorry is by definition a selfish act, forgiving is just a donation. 

"Saying sorry to someone, is you, trying to forgive yourself"

 

So which is harder? Forgiving is a self-sacrifice, while saying sorry is purely selfish. Since we are all primarily selfish, its harder to forgive. When saying sorry, the price paid is only Pride. So if your price to forgive someone is higher than that person's pride, you will be forever frustrated. Death is never a price. In fact, its a really good liberation. The dead ain't suffering in this life anymore, while you are still stuck here. Forgiving, is of a higher level society, where some people just don't belong, yet. I'm not excluding myself in any statement I make verbally or in my blog. When someone says sorry to you, just accept it. Nothing can be done to reverse time, but you can allow another soul to be happy, even if you aren't. Just because you are not happy, doesn't mean the world has to suffer with you, and that includes the person that made you unhappy in the first place.